First of all, if you didn’t read the blog title as sung by David Bowie in his song “Changes” you have to go back and do it now. If you don’t know the song or worse yet who David Bowie is.. I’ll just tell you this: you’re missing out!

I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. I know it’s time for some changes and I’ve decided to make these changes and I’m excited about them! But these aren’t small things and they all take a lot of consideration and planning.. especially for an overthinker like me!

One big change I have been thinking about is about where I live. As of now I am a safe 45miles away from the porn valley, where no porn people ever venture to go. (or, as people of LA call it, “a land far far away”) Nestled comfortably in a beautiful “gay-borhood” as we call it, surrounded by my friends, who are mostly gay men who have nothing to do with and couldn’t care less about the porn industry. My life is comfortable and convenient and fun here. I have lived here with my 2 best friends as neighbors for almost 2 years now and it has been really fun.

BUT..

It is super inconvenient for my job. 45miles may not sound like a long drive to work, but with LA traffic that equals a 2 hour drive. So to put it in perspective.. if I have an 8am calltime, I have to leave my house at 6am, which means I need to wake up around 4:30am. I get to the shoot and have already been up for 3-4hours! That is valuable sleep time I am missing out on! The other girls woke up at 7 to make it there by 8. Although I have done it with a smile on my face for a year straight now, usually 4+days a week, it is getting old. While doing my taxes I figured I drove 10,000 miles driving to and from the valley in 1 year. That is too much!

Also, another factor that has started to bother me.. My friends are a bad influence on me. Like I said, none of them know or care about the type of porn I do, which is a good thing. But they also don’t understand or respect everything I have to do that goes into being the best I can be at my job. They scoff at me when I try to eat healthy. They purposely try to make me miss yoga classes or going to the gym. When I have webcam shows, they come over to my house anyways and tell me “oh,just reschedule them!” as tho webcamming isn’t a real job. They only encourage me to eat junk food, stay out late, smoke cigarettes, gain weight and not take my job seriously. Now I know they’re not trying to be malicious, they’re not bad people..they’re my best friends! They’re GREAT people whom I love. They’re just trying to have fun.. and I have done a great job at having great self control and resisting them (for the most part) for these 2 years but it’s starting to wear on me..

When I am surrounded by successful, hard working people it inspires me to do the same. I like to be around people who push me and inspire me to push myself and to become better at whatever it is I am focused on. And sadly, it is becoming clear to me that the opposite is happening and will continue to happen if I live here with them.

I never thought I’d say this but.. I feel the need to be around people who work in or around porn and understand what I go thru on the daily basis and everything my job entails. I have avoided it for years, but I am slowly starting to trust a select few in the porn industry and let them in. Good people like Veronica Avluv and Lily Cade. And they have become good friends of mine, girls whom I can call when I am having a crisis only a porn girl can understand. I can just imagine what it would be like if I actually LIVED AMONGST these kind of people and had a support system like that! And that is exactly what I’m setting out to do..

It’s going to be scary and taxing. I am going to miss my friends so much. I know right now I can’t afford it and I don’t know how I will be taking any time off of work to look for a place and then move, but I know if I set my mind to anything, I can do it.. and I’m going to. So wish me luck everyone!:)

And this is just one of MANY changed happening to me in the near future.. I also have made my mind up about some other life changing HUGE things. I will tell you all about those when the time is right. All I can say is no matter what happens from this day on, no matter what these changes bring me, I know that 2013 is going to be a very exciting and interesting year for me! I also know that I have the best fans ever who have stuck with me thru thick and thin, no matter what! Your support has meant so much to me up to this point, and will mean even more to me in the future. I loveĀ  and appreciate you all:)

Aaliyah Love XOXO <3