You ever have one of those days/weeks? :(
Thursday, March 12th, 2009I need to vent for a sec here guys.. I am having one of those WEEKS! Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong this week and today I finally reached my “boiling point” I’d like to think of myself as a very positive thinker, and everyday this week I have gone to bed saying to myself “tomorrow will be a better day!” but the next day is just as frustrating as the last!!:(
It started out by me getting a bladder infection Monday morning. I get these a lot due the fact that I LIVE on my webcam and masturbate more thanthe average girl, but boy it SUCKS when it does happen. I really don’t like taking antibiotics and only take them when absolutely needed. The pharmacy didn’t accept my insurance for some reason (reason being I’m late on my payments ughh) so they cost a lot more than I expected, but I know I had to get them. I think I am slightly allergic to all antibiotics because I always feel really crappy while I am taking them. The 2 quarts of cranberry juice I have been drinking every day has been makingme feel yucky also.. I knew I had to cancel my 1st members webcam show cause of this, but thought I was going to be Superwoman and only take 2-3 days off cause of this, even though the doctor told me to NOT touch my pussy for 7 days! So when I woke up today and still wasn’t feeling 100%, I knew the smart thing to do would be to cancel show # 2.. What I should of done was cancel both shows at the beginning of the week and announced it to you all instead of making a last minute decision. Then when I get emails from my fans saying things like “I took the night off of work to see your show, why weren’t you here?” I feel REALLY BAD!:(
Then a bunch of other small things happened that all added up to me being upset, from my Photobucket account getting erased with no warning (which means any pics I posted on the net.. on myspace, on message boards, etc are all replaced with a “Deleted Photobucket” sign now.. ugh!!) to arguing with photographers over when I will be getting pics/videos I am really anxious to get, to spending 2 hours on the fone yesterday with my student loan people and realizing only 60% of the $ I pay them to pay off my loans goes to PAYING OFF THE LOAN to the stack of bills I have that I know I can’t pay right now.. ughh!!
The thing that is stressing me out the most is I had to take all week off of work, and I have to work 5-6 days a week on webcam to make a certain goal (I need to make this goal weekly to pay all of my bills on time) and now there is no way tomorrow, Friday, I can make that all up. Then looking over my calendar today I realize I will only have 2 days next week, Monday and Wednesday, to be on webcam, and I have to do members shows both days, which means yet again I will only have a couple hours on webcam to make $. 2 weeks out of 4 this month of not working is going to make my life very hard come April 1st.. oh I’m getting all teary eyed just typing this all out..ughh
Sometimes I just feel like the pressure is too much and it’s hard for me to stay positive and happy. I actually feel a lot better just typing this out and any positive replies you guys give me will help. I know I am very lucky to have the “job” that I do, and it is because of you guys that I can have this website and play with you guys on cam all the time!!! I totally appreciate you guys so much and I promise next time you hear from me I will be happier :)
Aaliyah Love XOXO
